so, yesterday was week 10 of my internship. I was going to make this blog as my internship journal, well I know it seems like I am quite late to start my journal haha, but hey! don’t you ever heard of the phrase “better late than never”? so imma go with that.

truth is, I have some writings before this, but I wrote them on notepad. maybe I will post them in here after this. talking on writing, I usually write when I’m sad. yeah, sadly, it is true. I don’t know why I don’t feel like writing whenever I’m happy. deep inside, I think we should write when we re happy, to keep the memories. since I usually write when I’m in sad mood or anywhere near that, I guess I’m quite pessimistic. thats definitely a bad trait of mine.

if I were to list out every negative thing I have inside me, man that is a lot! I can’t even finish it, or maybe I will finish writing it today, but the day after I can add more. more that you could imagine. and definitely, knowing you have bad trait is good, but knowing and just let them be is absolutely bad. knowing and making them as reasons for you not to be better is worse. that is my opinion of course. I mean, it is not that I don’t know which part inside me is bad, I truly aware of them, but I keep on making them as excuses to run away from being a better human. it is not that I can’t. it is just I am lazy. I still remembered last thursday, me and my intern friends had lunch together with Dr. S. DrS is definitely someone with brain. I mean, see la how he got Dr on his name right. and this lazy thing, he said that when you say that you’re in pain, it is not that you’re in pain actually. you just feel like you are, but you aren’t. pain is just temporary and pain is just emotion. the pain of giving birth is the hardest pain someone can experience, he said. and its amazing how a mother who has just experience the most painful moment in her life, literally forgets what pain is when she sees and hugs her newborn child. this is because when pain meets happiness, it becomes natural. hence, when you say you are in pain, you’re not. it is just an excuses and you’re just lazy. oh how my face is like being slashed with his words! well, I guess it is true.

DrS gave us a lot of advices and I don’t know but I kind of like this moments. I get to listen to brilliant mind’s advices, I get to learn a lot, I get to know how they think, and most important thing is I get to like ‘betulkan myself’ even just for a moment, or few days, I think it is important for me to get on the right track. the problem in me is, I keep forgetting all these good things and sticked on the bad. haih. this is definitely something that I have to change. definitely! but then, it is not wrong to have these traits ya, just don’t let them overpower you. you own you.

I have a lot to write about what happened last weeks and these days, but maybe I don’t really have time now. I have promised my friend to meet to maybe help (read:kacau) her and her friends in their group assignment. (take pics only). so anyway, I will end this post with some other DrS’s advices.


p/s: bear in mind, these are not all, as I can only remember little. he told us a lot!

  • to always recite Quran everyday, and make this as habit.
  • to give to everyone. sedekah has many ways. he would always give his cats milk and food every morning. and he always treat people to eat. I mean always.
  • to be happy and contented. to have goals and reaching the goals will surely make you happy.
  • to do the best in everything we do. for now, do the best in internship. ask for work, take experiences as many as you can. be grateful how you are accepted to work in big companies.
  • to be an example to others. especially if you know something which is not good to be practice, why should you follow your friends when your friends can look up to you as the one who has knowledge in it
  • to always always always jaga solat. solat is very basic in islam. the moment you die, you will be asked on your prayers. and if you don’t have this basic in Islam, you can’t achieve the success in dunya, especially in marriage life.
  • to look for the best spouse. 4 criterias in islam; religiousness (agama), — (sekufu), beauty (kecantikan), nobility of the family (keturunan).
  • to keep good relationship with others. especially family, parents, parents in law etc.
  • to have side business to maintain your life.
  • to take good care of your aurah.

and how to make these as habits? is to practice them everyday for at least 45 days and inshAllah pray that we get the istiqamah.


till then.


intern this

I mean right is this my fault. or not. I don’t know. and whether I should write this,, I am not even sure about that. well, shouldn’t every post is about good thing and memorable thing? btw I am now wondering about the difference of visual and html in this setting. well html seems like a cooler option don’t they? so I chose html lels.

anyway, I’m currently a jobless person with job. you get it? haha. I mean, I got job, technically. but I didn’t ask for any task to do. and I am not sure whether they know that I’m jobless or not now. well, I kinda like this, but then it would be useless for me. and wasting my time. heh. I don’t even know whether writing this is something worthy or not. should I even care? I don’t even know either.

I am that useless I guess.

new chapter

This is the post excerpt.


I really hope this would be a new chapter for me.

a better future, a better dream.

a better me.

I hope.

dear self, if you are reading this, and if you are currently feeling down. just remember, you had been there. you had passed like legit many problems. many things you have faced. you cried, you down, you felt useless. you hate yourself, you hate everyone around you. you are asking why you are born to this world. hey girl, it is fine okay. it is okay. it would be okay. take a deep breath, you have been in so many things yet you are okay. so who cares for another challenge? I can do this. so do you. let it all out. time will heal. nope. time will not heal. it is just we get to used to things like that like we are immune already. you wanna cry, go. you want to be alone, go. just put up your sabar okay.

and don’t give up. ever. remember your dream. why you started this theegoo.

go and have fun. be rich. be kind. be respected. be likeable. be motivated. be strong. be good to all. be mukmin.